Friday, April 15, 2011
9 days have passed, and there's 10 more.
which somewhat makes me halfway through this marathon.
i have never been so desperate for home; feeling so close yet so far, and there's conflict between taking the luxury cab or that inferior bus.
i guess that's what happens when you are far away, alone, and has no music.
seriously, with no shuffling playlist my mind just go booms.
quoting from Jodi Picoult,
"His pulse is a military tattoo."
Right, on so many levels, it's true.
Somehow, being in the west translated to me meeting weirdos on the return ride, every single day.
there's this nonchalant lady who brought a sack of durians on board.
an extremely rude uncle who keeps staring at me, and hurriedly shifts back when i peered over; he punched a guy into his seat. i was like, wtf?
an explosive snorer.
a toddler, like those from a kindergarten, blasting music from her phone.
a guy whom i eavesdropped on, and got to know that he fell out with his clique because he is insensitive and still doesn't get it. trust me, he has the annoying aura.
some young adult mumbling/singing alien-ese every few minutes.
i seriously think that i am becoming judgmental.
for reasons that.. never mind.
i have been excluding myself from their collective world.
and i thought i'd explain how i go about doing that.
1. Never initiate a Hello/conversation.
2. Don't share until asked.
3. Never try to get into a conversation.
4. Look straight whenever possible, not giving a damn to the people surrounding you.
5. Give the dao look
6. Be a conversational full stop.
i've been through these 9 days alone, and am perfectly fine/sane.
i'm not intending to change any of that.
there's no need to, really.
you'd understand only if you've been through this.
because from what i understand, a good friend of mine has been through this exact thing.
i do feel how and what he felt.
it's different, that's all i can say.
don't judge, because you can't.
otherwise you'd be judging yourself if you're in the same plight.