Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Haven't been spending much money on what the society, or anyone but me, defines as necessities.
My mother still provides allowance, but not like it's expended that much or at least the pace it's intended upon.
Come on, judge for all you want, but deep down you long for any surplus of cash coming from them. It feels good in the wallet albeit not wasting them.
30 bucks in notes can last me a couple of weeks. That's how much a spendthrift I am.
So before anyone gets so pissed, or jealous in a sense that includes anger, why I can go around spending on sprees all the time - just saying - I forgo essentials for luxuries.
Because I can. It's my will and that is that, period.
You don't want to compare because beyond this superficial facade, I am actually quite broken inside out. The lifestyle I choose to lead all in all is hell itself.
It's like I am ruining myself, and I mark it a goal to destroy thyself.
Welps, maybe not that much a goal in a sense that such acts are extremely effortless to carry out.
Like every day in camp is a day without food until dinnertime. No necessary expenditure at all.
They sometimes wonder how I can survive without food for, literally, a day for such extended periods of time. Wait till they hear 3. But oh wells, my body adapts well to such situations.
And I should lose that fat face of mine.
For which I crafted a somewhat ingenious plan, or one may say completely foolish, to slim down till 53 or less as deem fit; till a point when I am the very least content and convinced that I don't look like a hamster chewing on seeds.
It's obvious I have always hated how I look.
If I were in any hint attractive, physically, I can't possibly imagine the risks and adventures I'd partake on in the unsaid fashion-offs.
I mean, if you are attractive, things like bowties, braces, neckchains, and (insert anything) will appear nice on you. Impressive, rather.
If you think about it, not spending on food at all means that you only have to account for transport, and having to make only 2 trips a day amounting to possibly a 3 bucks, it then translates close to $350 of disposable allowance a month.
Of course, I make it a point to save half of these monthly inputs. And I really do, which shows that in a way I am still quite Asian. (and I should not be proud of it at all though I must say that I am impressed by my discipline in maintaining this)
And by saving half, I beg myself to make it a point to definitely finish up the remainder. And a recluse I am, with no life to indulge in (oh how much I despise the existence of Life), a hundred over dollars means a lot. That's many cups of starbucks and rounds of shopping.
And I can afford to offer treats - to family and friends alike though I wouldn't really consider the former a treat but rather a rightful doing from my part - because I haven't been spending to the 50/50 margin.
I mean, I must really get this point across that I am not by any chance rich all the time.
In the past, I admit having bitchfully flaunted (which I regret in every single way) wealth as a possession derived from my parents.
But now, I spend most from what I receive as official returns of whatever administrative services I provide at work. So what wrong is that?
My life, my money, and I can do whatever I like to it.
And you can't fault me can you; for I still make it a point to save up while my knowledge somehow has it that peers of my age seem to squander all away somehow someway.