Wednesday, April 6, 2011
i shall not use the word blessed.
no idea if i am lucky/unfortunate coz it's a whirlwind of events and happenings that made little sense to me.
so till now, i'm still confused.
i mean yes, it's really easy on us if you're talking about the physical aspect but the journey your state of mind goes through is beyond words.
it's like working for Paul again, there's nothing for you to do and you literally stoned the entire day and still return home beat down.
and from the counsellor's 'speech', i sorta have anxiety problems!
there're issues mixing around too since i cant find any common topic.
i mean, if you want me to open up, i need at least one person who appreciates ANY of the following:
Glee
Gaga
Fringe
No Ordinary Family
Rebecca Black
Pop
R & B
Fred Perry or any fashion labels.
and there're prolly some other perks, but hey i've yet to find anyone like me.
i think that they think that i am too cool for them or something, or was it my face.
people used to say that my face = fierce when i don't smile = not around friends
OH YES, the 1st day is like a fashion parade to people of the like.
but the sad thing is that none of them fell in my sub-group, so i can't walk up to anyone and tell them that they had pretty shoes.
and i feel that the better schools are being 'eyed' at.
we often joke around being from DHS, but this gives a different feeling.
Plus, they make me feel that since i am gifted with this great mind of my own.
i should just work that little bit to earn my As back.
some people just dont have the privilege - i do, and should appreciate it.
this entire thing makes me better after all.
but being sandwiched between smokers is no joke, though i put on a front and play mr nice.
i am so fake i ought to be condemned haha.
there are people who behave as though they deserve more than this.
and some, like me, who dont believe in forging any friendship here.
and others who are louder in nature.
oh and the unnecessary profanities to express humour.
i mean it, vulgarities = humour here.
and i am trying my best not to be inspired at all.
during my interview with my cute in-charge, i told him everything frankly.
"it's boring at times, yet funny with the unnecessary profanities."
it's not harsh at all, and i am trying my best to do my job well.
after all, i am paid.
and please, i try to make everything sound as ambiguous and friendly, so unless you hate me that much, try to keep them to a reasonable crowd.
thanks