Wednesday, January 5, 2011
so yes, i have no life, and am curently rotting at home again.
it's so hard to get anything done and i dont feel like doing anything at all.
2 days for me to finish a 20 episode serial.
it was really emotional, with all those suicide things coupled with many complex feelings - feelings that normal people wont usually get involved in.
it's like being trapped right in the heart of a whirlwind.
a whirlwind of confusion, loss, an despair.
there are stories of people who have come to a point where they cant continue any longer.
they have come to the point of no return, the point which marks the end.
ironically, it's funny coz when i went through similar stuffs, i couldnt bring myself to do what they did.
i thought that perhaps the show was rather misleading, but also gave me some insights.
my mum was sitting next to me being a usual peeping tom and eyeing the serial while i watched it on the 19".
when i witnessed the characters plunge from light into dark then into death, i thought i would do the exact thing if i was in the situation.
but my mum, on the contrary said that the issue can be solved.
when the entire world is mocking at you for being who you really are, and despising your methods of living, i dont get how you can continue with the ongoings.
it's just unbearable.
then again, these events that happen in serials are never reflective of our society. especially our boring and mundane society. oh, and apathetic.
so for the past two days, i have been rather emo.
i dont wanna do anything. nothing.
i have seen so much, so many problems yet no solution.
that is if you dont include suicide or genocide.
have you ever been so depressed that you dont mind dying as a rock to salvage the current situation?
i dont mind being a rock if i can get things on track.
i dont mind being a rock because i should be a rock.
because a rock has a purpose.
and the song 'black sunday', i am hooked to it.
it's addictive, sad and comforting.
渡得过吗?
if you are like me, willing to rot and indulge in some very sad stuff.
then go watch this serial <死神少女>, it's really depressing. really.
我觉得我跟自己渡不过，但我又能怎样呢?