Went shopping with koknam the other day, and saw this pair of shorts. It's sorta like plaid on a white base, and those lines where brownish, yellow and blue. It's mesmerising. and on the 1st instincts, i told myself to buy it. my 2nd instincts was to check the price. and dear google, it's $299.90. so i returned it to the rack, and waited for koknam to come out with his fit. i've been eyeing that shorts since the encounter on some online article, and now, i am slapped hard in the face. when i am rich, and i better be, i will make sure i save 50% of my pay per month and commit the rest to THE EXPENSIVE TRAVEL FARES (petrol is equally expensive as the absurb busfares) and shopping and food and to my parents. everyone should expend more, so the economy will prosper like mad. then we will get more pay rise. if we dont get it, then lets migrate elsewhere :D i always tell my mum,
what's the point of earning money if you don't spend it?
she never answers it. but when she maples, she sees the bank as something superior to levels. and that 钱很多，看了爽 and so she continues grinding for more money, but never uses it. sometimes, i felt as though they've given up their lives for ours. they only go shopping to restock the fridge, and barely has any friends simply because they dont have the time for such relationships. and they slog so much. not for themselves, but us. however noble that may be, i dont wanna see them doing this to themselves. i want them to retire and i've been hinting at it. it's because of what i see that i do not wish for a marriage. i can tell myself that "i shall not be bounded by responsibilites and continue to live life" but when it really comes, i just dont know if i can still say and realise the same line i stated. because if i do have children, i want them to have the best treatment. making sure that they play the violin, take dance and singing lessons, draw well, understand fashion and etiquette, take up some sport and make sure that they never grow too fat or thin - they're sorta like living my dreams. i dont really care if they suck at school or what. i just want them to feel alive. i dont want them to call me dad, i want them to call me by my name. and it's not because of some stupid drama that i hate, but that's what i've been thinking of since forever. "dad" gives too much an authority and power. i want to be close to them. the really close and friendly kind. like bffs. but to fund all these goals for my children aint an easy task. to juggle between work, family, friends and shopping is a torture. in any case, i'd have to give up the last option first. and then i will be the host to the parasitic fatigue such that i'd find no energy or time for friends. and then work will become so important that you'd gradually forget why you started working for in the first place - for better lives. and your family gets compromised. not only your spouse and children, the most obvious example would be parents-grandparents. most of them dont live together, and barely see them much. but it is when we are grownups that we need more time with our parents no? in the first 4hours of kbox, you'd take your time singing a full song and all. but when it comes down to the last 30minutes, we only sing through the chorus and thats it. shouldn't this be the same treatment to them? that we should really seize the chance and appreciate this 30minutes with them? we take their living presence for granted. everyone does. just because it's been fine for the last 20 years doesn't mean that it will be the case for the next 20. everyone tells us to appreciate your closest kins, but do we really do that? previously, i'd always wanted to move out. it's an entirely different story now. life is full of comprises. it is choosing what you want that makes your life worthwhile and living. dont let work define you, nor anyone or anything cause you to waver. dont work OT if you dont know what it is that you're working for, most adults work for money just because it's money. the more the merrier. really? the more the merrier even when you dont spend? ya right.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Never trust a demure person's storytelling of non-demure stuff. it's like asking primary school devils to teach me how to be a grownup. although i have to admit that i am still a little childish, just a little :O
the lasik treatment is scary. although you are sedated, it's a mild dosage and only instils numbness. you are still AWARE of anything and everything the doctor's gonna do to you. that includes resting a suction ring on the eyeball; and sliding the surgical blade across the ring to cut a flap on the cornea; and peeling the flap to one side; and force you to stare at a blinding laser for a minute or so; and to displace the flap back to the original position; and glue the flap to place. AND REPEAT IT FOR THE OTHER EYE. all while you are conscious. while i am scared of frogs, i am actually more afraid of eyeballs. those wholesome ones, coz they are so freaky no? eyeball-phobia. those horror movies with flying eyeballs are the worst. and the chapter on eyeballs in the biology textbook. D: i think i will be scared like shit for the lasik treatment. and my mum hasnt given me a reply as to which clinic and method she's going for. omg, i am going to witness my surgery on my eyes with my own eyes. i wonder if they can blind me or something. and post-treatment, i cant use any hair product or let any chemical get into my eyes. i will be sensitive to bright light and be constantly tearing. for one week. so i cant go out :/ planning to go for the consultation soon and schedule for lasik post cny. oh, and those newyear music out there defames chinese orchestra's reputation. it's so downright depressing. ughh.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I was 55kg last week this time, now i am 63kg. and i have not eaten my lunch yet. i am so freaking scared that this will aggravate. i went online and check. and it could be due to water retention since i drank 2 cups of water before i slept last night :o and then there was this hypothyroidism which tells me that i may continue gaining weight for the next months or years. if i hit 70 next week, i am going to the doctor and get myself killed. this doesn't make any sense at all, i live on 2 munches a day and i dont even take half a bowl of rice each meal. THIS IS FREAKING ME OUT. i shall hurry and drink more water to force the the water out. (yes it sounds ironic but that's how you challenge fluid retention/edema) i am going to drink 10 cups of water per day as of today. i dont wanna grow fat out of the blue. ok now this is becoming some primary school composition. today is a bad day. i shall sign off. bye bye.
Monday, January 17, 2011
i think i am going to morph into some angmoh guy. can i choose to be blonde? lol eh, the forever china me is turning to english hits and yes i even go and stalk the billboard for new releases and tops. there've been some really nice english songs recently and asians are dying out :( i think bruno mars is sooo awesome we finally have some non-white with perfect rhythm & blues! when will we get to see asians dominating the music industry? i stumbled upon this guy posting his covers of some brilliant songs. i prefer his chinese ones tho :/
i think he is as talented as leehom, they sound almost identical haha, and i was super happy coz enzon said i have a nice voice. i still cant reach bruno mars' key. dang. i think i am so jolly today, dont know why also. MAYBE BECAUSE IT'S SHAWN'S AND JESSICA'S BIRTHDAY! haha, ok i better stop - even myself thinks that i am crazy. enjoy
Thursday, January 13, 2011
roflmao i dont get why i am so affected by him. i know that he does a note everyday and i really go stalking for it. not because i am interested in his life, but rather it's the diabolic me trying to pinch out some content that i can laugh at. or perhaps, mock at. i mean, from our view, the note may be amusing. but if you really look into the plain and glaring english, besides the grammar, there's essence of despise and stereotyping. i am not gonna remind him of that, but if you are his friend and happen to stumble upon this post. you should tell him to mind his language - used on me at most i'd be mad at him. but when you comment on the other races in SINGAPORE, you'd better be careful because the next step may bring you to a confined jailroom. or in your context, worse if issued humongous fines.
o.o and really, o.o is he really that demure? since when is kissing classified as oral sex? and kissing is low-profile sex? omg. and anal-contact = sex? that's seriously bullshit. but that aside, i think he got the whole picture wrong. and dragged all who read it and commented on it down with him. if you have no idea what sex is, don't tell people that you witnessed a young couple having sex next to bicycle lots when in fact, they were only kissing. true that it may evolve into something else, if you didn't see it, don't tell people you did. i feel so cheated even though i believe it's fabricated in this first place. facebook ftw.serotonin, phenylethylamine and dopamine are the reasons behind the chemistry of/in love. so that means that love is but mere a result of hormonal changes. which may mean that if relevant medication is received such that these hormone levels were altered to a normal state, you will lose your love? that is so weird. and there is this other hormone called oxytocin which causes you to both love and hate. maybe when my blood boils, it's due to an overproduction of oxytocin. it's weird, at least to me, that how and what you feel is governed by known and readily synthesised chemicals. this may mean that futuristic psychology may include the prescription of such drugs to help psychotics tide over their conditions. but inappropriate use may literally mean that you can produce a robotic human, stripped of most, if not all, emotions,
on another note, certain things are like mirrors. while intact, it reflects a harmonious and complete picture. when the mirror shatters, this picture crisps along with it and no matter how hard you try to glue it back, the scars between the sharp glass edges are here to stay. every action is irrevocable. just like every word that is seen or heard. and when the devilish side of oxytocin starts kicking in to remind you of the vandal who smashed your mirror, it's too late for the angelic love-oxytocin to neutralise the hatred. especially since the nonchalant vandal continues hammering the broken pieces into finer shards. that's just gross and indecent. i admit that i am stupid, and my jokes may be retarded. but if you make me feel worthless and unwanted, which at times i do call myself that, be prepared because a war is brewing. and trust me, if i can't win it, i'd make sure you don't too. because i hate you. and putting :) behind an offensive text doesn't mean anything friendly at all. especially if prejudice is already present. it just makes me think of you as some faker who can't use words properly to display feelings. let me teach you something. if you are pissed about a reply on facebook, use very very short sentences in the next reply. it shows that you cant be bothered anymore, and it strikes people with a louder oomph. it also works better if you add a fullstop behind. doh i feel like removing the tagboard.
sigh
Monday, January 10, 2011
ROT DECAY DECOMPOSE DEGENERATE DISINTEGRATE FESTER PUTREFY thats what happening to me. omg, i am so bored doing nothing at home. i am literally staring into blank space! i wake up to stone and eat and shit and sleep. it's so terrigible it's like schooltime. except i rather stone than go to school to be pestered upon. i suppose it's time for me to go emo again. shop alone, watch movie alone, lunch alone, play alone. it's alot easier doing things alone for me. because waiting for replies take forever, or never. and in reality, you decide better when you are on your own. when in a group, we are told to accept all perspectives and suggestions. so much so that it's so messy and occupied until noone can make a choice for everyone and eventually, end up doing nothing. dohhhhh. FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, LIFE SUCKS. i may sound crazy saying this, but i hope i get enlisted soon. this is killing me. ARGH
Sunday, January 9, 2011
thought that after so many weird posts, i should put something interesting up. something funny and entertaining. so the following are some facebook likes that i've stolen. :D
A pretty girl can kiss a guy, a bird can kiss a butterfly, the rising sun can kiss the grass, but you my friend, yes you, you can kiss my ass
Baby, baby, baby ooh!" Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh thank goodness.
Kid: "Dad, is GOD black or white?" Dad: "Maybe both. Kid walks away, then comes back later. "Dad, is God a man, or a woman?" Dad: "Maybe both." Kid walks away, then comes back later. "Dad, is GOD Micheal Jackson?"
Smarter brother: "Mom, I got an A+ in Calculus!" Mom: "Wow, good job!" Dumber brother: "Mom, I got a B on my math test!" Mom: "OMG WHAT!?! HERE'S $100, WE'RE GOING OUT TO DINNER TO CELEBRATE."
Bruno Mars closes his eyes, he sees his name in shining light. Justin Bieber closes his eyes, he sees a better day. i close my eyes, i see darkness. :(((
It's funny how we can remember the lyrics to hundreds of songs, but can't remember anything when we study for a test.
every teenager has the same life: hours every night on facebook and five minutes on the homework project you were given a month ago. Don't deny it.
If I was stuck in a room with Justin Bieber and my worst enemy with a gun with two bullets in my hand i'd shoot Justin Bieber twice ☺
Lyrics of the song YMCA that everyone knows. 99%: Y-M-C-A. 1%: The whole song.
Read each sentence: This is this cat. This is is cat.This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is retard cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is 40 cat. This is seconds cat. Now read every third word in each sentence :)
you know you are a normal teen if: 1)you have a facebook 2)you own a cellphone 4)you are wasting your time reading this 5)you didn't realize there was no #3 7)you checked to see if there wasn't a #3 8)O: where's 6? 9)you are smiling now
*Mom Calls Your Name* Yeah? *silence* Yeah! *silence* YEAH?!!?!!?! *silence* Wtf...*sighs and gets up to go see what she wanted*
Taio Cruz wrote dynamite, Katy Perry wrote firework, Bruno Mars wrote grenade, I bet Ke$ha is going to write nuclear bomb soon.
How fast can you guess these words? 1. BOO_S 2. _ _ NDOM. 3. F_ _ K 4. P_ N _S 5. S_X
Answers:1. BOOKS 2. RANDOM 3. FORK 4. PANTS 5. SIX. You got all 6 wrong, didn't you?You dirty minded freak!
enjoy, lol
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
so yes, i have no life, and am curently rotting at home again. it's so hard to get anything done and i dont feel like doing anything at all. 2 days for me to finish a 20 episode serial. it was really emotional, with all those suicide things coupled with many complex feelings - feelings that normal people wont usually get involved in. it's like being trapped right in the heart of a whirlwind. a whirlwind of confusion, loss, an despair. there are stories of people who have come to a point where they cant continue any longer. they have come to the point of no return, the point which marks the end. ironically, it's funny coz when i went through similar stuffs, i couldnt bring myself to do what they did. i thought that perhaps the show was rather misleading, but also gave me some insights. my mum was sitting next to me being a usual peeping tom and eyeing the serial while i watched it on the 19". when i witnessed the characters plunge from light into dark then into death, i thought i would do the exact thing if i was in the situation. but my mum, on the contrary said that the issue can be solved. when the entire world is mocking at you for being who you really are, and despising your methods of living, i dont get how you can continue with the ongoings. it's just unbearable. then again, these events that happen in serials are never reflective of our society. especially our boring and mundane society. oh, and apathetic. so for the past two days, i have been rather emo. i dont wanna do anything. nothing. i have seen so much, so many problems yet no solution. that is if you dont include suicide or genocide. have you ever been so depressed that you dont mind dying as a rock to salvage the current situation? i dont mind being a rock if i can get things on track. i dont mind being a rock because i should be a rock. because a rock has a purpose. and the song 'black sunday', i am hooked to it. it's addictive, sad and comforting. 渡得过吗? if you are like me, willing to rot and indulge in some very sad stuff. then go watch this serial <死神少女>, it's really depressing. really. 我觉得我跟自己渡不过，但我又能怎样呢?