Monday, August 23, 2010
haven't been in that much of a mood recently.
life is like sitting at the edge of a mountain of notes, any moment you're gonna plunge into some bottomless pit as some form of punishment for not accomplishing your due assignments or finishing what you're supposed to within the ever-so-little time in a day.
*sigh*
here i am, as sick as the perv king steven lim, heated with a slight fever, pulling mucous through my nostrils and drawing huge volumes of air before every violent cough.
how i wish i was not that prone to all the viruses and bacteria on earth and live at some jupiter or cosmos planet.
well, been checking some blogs, and i guess we really run out of topic to share over the this virtual reality when we age.
i can't believe that i am 18 - coz from what i heard of from my mum, at the age of 18, she cooked, sewed, worked for a living, and possesses everything that distinguishes a mere cheeky kid from a mature, sensible and ready late-teen.
i feel that i am so not ready for everything coming straight at me, be it life, work or relationships, everything just seems so distant.
i don't feel like living a life, working or going for a connection with anyone.
i guess that makes me a living dead - someone who is alive yet literally doesn't do things the way a normal human being would.
dread in bed, in school, after school, and before i sleep, life is such a bore.
and i keep telling myself --> everything's gonna be better in a few months' time.
then i conduct an immediate self-rebuttal --> and a few days after that "in a few months' time", it will be even better for i will have a new and hip hairstyle.
it's hard to be positive when you know that things aren't really the case.
it's like the angel and devil of the cat in tom and jerry.
the angel drives you towards a good, and the devil somehow convinces you to do otherwise --> what's worse is that you know that its detriment to you and yet you contribute to pulling yourself down to hell.
argh, MOTIVATION, where are you? i need you back as when you were omnipresent during my O levels.
PLEASE COME BACK TO ME :'(
maybe i should just fall into some limbo where time almost stops for you.
maybe i should.