Thursday, January 28, 2010
Only when the day is realised, am i truly devastated by my decisions.
i may have screwed all my exams and whatsoever, but i missed the true essence of being myself.
when i saw the facils running here and there, there was this suspension of feelings inside me.
it's not really that easily described, but i guess the closest word is "regretful", with some bits of "why-am-missing-out-from-all-these".
it's weird.
i just miss orientation, and i just missed one of last ones.
just what was wrong with me when i decided not to sign up for the facils interview?
the Rpapers? whattheheck, i am thoroughly pissed with myself now.
i am lost, not knowing what to do for the next few subject days while my friends are having fun with the freshies around the school, it's not that easy to crash - i dont really know everyone in school or a particular og - and that will probably make me feel rather weird being attached to any.
probably the biggest regret in my life, yet.
and you shoould know the feeling when you are regretful of your actions.
it's undescribable, and most importantly, it doesnt feel good.
sorry for any typo, but i am having difficulty seeing things clearly.
my eyes got sensitive to my contacts, and i still knowingly put the lenses on.
blame it on me.
and my ears are a little impaired too, from a blast of soundwaves through my ipod.
dont ask me why i blasted it, i dont know too.
my voice is rather squeaky, recovering from a 9-day-old cough.
life hasnt been partically good for me, with some disappointments, regrets, pisses and melancholy here and there.
one of the worst things today, besides my regret - i tried to explain to my mum how i felt missing out from the orientation and she asked me to not care about it and just focus on my studies.
she doesnt understand me that much after all.
well, i dont understand myself at well - what can i expect?
oh wells, have some great time.
disappointed in