Tuesday, March 31, 2009
today is 31st march, and blogging off at 19:37 upon my return home.
today, we have pe consisted a game of ultimate frisbee, ok, maybe two games. winning percentage = 50%, and joshua is good, really good at hitting things off people's possessions. :D
today, i had my co interview for the pending and yet-to-be-decided entry to becoming an exco member again. and
today, i feel insecured for the 1st time in vj.
i didn present my very best to the interviewers today, but i was definitely truthful, or at least a can swear a 99% credible.
their faces were really scary - nice people becoming beasts longing for us to satisfy their thirst of cannibalism.
just something about myself to everyone who dont know me that well..
i LOVE cip, it's something that's inside my blood - i take joy and content from the activity itself and at the same time deriving inspirations and reflections from it and on it...
it's supernova camp 3 years ago when i collected newspaper with the campers for charity - proceeds to SPD. i was super high whilst the collection and am really proud of myself being able to relate to people within the building - irregardless of skin-tones - and being able to gather colossal kilograms of newspapers for charity.
i was damn proud and satisfied with myself - i'd never felt that way before sec 2.
and since then, cip is something i devote myself to. i dont do it for the hours, i do it for the recipient and i do it for myself.
and i was super disappointed in the 4r1 people when we collected newspaper for cip last year.
people, even close friends, dont find it worth doing and are shying from knocking of doors to receive donations...
i was to a certain extent pissed then, and when i ranted to koknam - if i remember correctly it was him - people started to change and do the right things the right way.
and i will be joining the nkf youth group something this year, but after my syf coz i dont wanna join without contribution and devotion - thats why i say i cannot participate in project winnie coz i know i cant devote time in it.
and i desire respect, it's ok if you dont appreciate but please respect.
i went tearing over respect issues in many junctures in my life..
it's something that is important to me.
and i cry alot. alot for a guy.
i can go all emo suddenly and dont talk for a day to anyone at all.
and sometimes i can go all wirey and jump and scream lik crazy.
and i dont like myself, period.
before today, i've never known that we cannot play card games in vj - coz i see people playing in vj, in concourse and in treehouse before. wow, lets go treehouse to play next time, i think it's damn cool there.
i need friends, i want friends, desperately forever.
it's the most important subject in life ever.
i want to be nice to everyone who deem fits for me to, and if i sound offensive or am having inappropriate attitudes towards you, please let me know - i will change, definitely.
i am qihao who demands respect and friendship, and i dont like myself.
that's a summary of this post, and yep, byes.
i am not particularly happy posting anyways.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
lethargic, and it's aggravation as i foresee the even more demented and ardous journey ahead...
it's not effortless for one to be involved in anything and everything, and even more so in this always-so-hectic environment i am exposed to in the past months...
it's ideal, and deriving substantial amounts of pleasure and enjoyment when being involved, but yet my character isn't just like that of some other individuals - those that when exposed to strangers for the first time, am willing to lie their arms over the latter's shoulders and calling him friend.
it's just weird, friendship is something that complements which time and exposure.
and for me, the ever-so-shy person, it's not like an overnight thing for me to accustom myself to new-beings and sorta like become very close friends.
basic courtesy comes in, and care, and concern, before a relative strong bond is formed - friendship bond. :D
and this bond is endothermic - it requires colossal amounts of energy to establish.
taking this endothermic reaction as that of a 99-storey structure ~
i am one step closer to the summit of the high-rised building, it's gonna be a harsh, tiring and time-consuming path ahead, but at least i take into consideration the joy and sense of accomplishment received from the process of the tedious and long climb, rather than that when i use the lift which deprives exposure. It's gonna be an enjoyable climb, one with new friends supporting and accompanying you. and sometime before, or at, the peak, this bond strengthens.
i dont feel sad when i blog, it's more of like writing down my life.
a different phase of my life, i suppose.
i'd never really come down and ponder hard over this period of time due the cramped-up schedule, and i am doing it now - i think it's good, at least i make myself be known.
lol, i am freaking shy in co.
it's not like i dont wanna mix around, but more of like i have no topics to start with. they are (really really really)^∞ nice people, but i am lost as to how to go about relating to them. somehow, they know at least one other peorson in vjco when they join - previous schoolmate i suggest.
and it's quite comfortable for them to settle down, good for them :D
i still need some time to open myself up to the co people.
perhaps next week, i should try.
try harder than the previous attempts, if any.
FWENS - the most important subject in life.
byes~
Monday, March 23, 2009
wow, if we compare apple by apple, ngee ann is a band two school :D
find the part whereby ngee-ann-will-never-be-able-to-pass-band-three pretty sad T_T
went back for founders' day today :D
the celebration was ok and food was average, but the feel was alright :D
mr lim's words inspired me again ==''
he always does that, and i like it... :D
he made me work for my Os...but i am not satisfied with it, really...
sciences were a real horror/surprise...
met ms yanti and she reiterated the exact words uttered by mr lim - "you guys in vj ah, dont keep playing! must study! last time my senior tell me not to mug and j1 is honeymoon year, and i believe. then the promos, i got a shock then started working hard..."
he's a great man, and i want to be like him :D
so less playing, not NO playing...
and yep i will pay attention in CME from now ons :D no P yet, cannot tahan physics lectures...
teachers are really nice :D
still thinking of us and our welfare even after graduation :D
mrs wee and mrs pong were really busy, and looked lethargic after a day's work :D
THANKS WEE AND PONG!
mrs teh's shirt was really nice, i think :D
no money this year, sad...hais...
and my bag broke T_T
gonna buy some new ones tomorrow i think :D
lin lao shi was really funny, talking about her 85 vj batch...
lol, we werent even born, and my parents havent even met...
LOL...
and it's pretty cool when she meets her 41 year old students this year at homecoming...
its gonna be so cool having old people calling you lao shi..
lol...
and she dont look that old, really..
she look late 40s...
:D
didnt see mr chee at all =/
trust me qingyi changed alot.
i am really scared of her now.
wow.
i really miss 4r1...
having fun with ck kn they all T_T
if only everyone's in vj :D
even during cca, i feel lonely..
people have their own clicks coz they come from same secondary school...
and i am like e only nasian..
it's like, wanna mix but finds it hard...yeah...
but they are really nice :D
talked a bit to xindi (i think i spelt it correctly) and eric :D
really nice people, and i really dont know that many mbs people, perhaps the ones they quoted are all from em1 stream?
jessica is really nice, and all the seniors :D
got to know alvin and fabian :P
think i will be running for co exco...
hope i can make it :D
wanna contribute :D
ok, thats all for now :D next times :D
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
haha, there's really alot of stuffs to blog about... =/
and i dont know where to start from :P
had been leading a really hectic life recently, and getting all lethargic and low at home at night...
nvm, lets just start with all that i'd went through, starting last friday, if i'd recollected the exact happenings...
went gym for the alpha-th time, and it's pretty fun i thought :P
i didnt really get myself involved in cardio practices but more or less playing with the alien-looking devices around ;P
zh,cy,zm,grace,ck,dion,jh,el were there with me, if i remembered correctly..
and engleong was acting cute as always :P
measured my height and weight there and noted a 0.4 cm increase in height over the past two dearing years...
and officially 62kg...
had a $32 fish&co platter which didn leave much of an impression accompanied with a gigantic jungle freeze which i thought was average too =/
and after the dinner i was damn stunned!
chankai's hands aint no sweaty anymore!
but after what seemed to be 20s, the liquids started to ooze out :P
we, or at least for me, unwillingly left for home. the end.
then it was saturday, and cca was cancelled due to CTs...
went out with wr,joshua,greg and jr joined us sometime ltr at esplanade library...
bought a iced cafe latte which tasted a lil above average...
had a rather productive homework salvage, i thought...
we left for dinner at bk at marina, and wr wanted to check out comix for resident evil 5..
eventually, he got lost and we expected the customer service's receptionist to call out his name, but of course, duh, it didnt...
he found his way back, after 20min i think, and we left for pool...
before pool was a 20min queue-up for atm madness...
and followed wr to get his game at hmv before returning for pool...
ok, i'm a noob. the end.
ohya, greg left halfway but i cant remember when and why he left...
joshua and wr took the red line home, i think...
and jr and i went for the green one which included two new unglam stops - pioneer and joo koon :P
i think i asked alot questions =/
that's weird, =/
sunday went ahma's house for buffet since her birthday was drawing near...
it's rather nice, and got abit sad someway through, but whatevers...
it was school, and lets forget about school...
nothing much about it anyways...
lynx got 2nd for cheer and 3rd for games...
overall? 2.5nd/rd!
house people were really cool, and witnessed their hard work the day before the actual cheerleading event...
good job cheerleaders!
hais..
i missed 3 cca days so far...
i feel really bad, really...
i feel indebted to co for some reason and actually feel that i should do something to contribute =/
how? practise for honours...
maybe =/
come to think of it, i feel abit lost...
i just read meishan's blog and pondered deeply...
change - did i change?
i shouldnt but have i?
i thought i laughed louder than before and it was rather irritating when i heard myself...
i thought i was more lively than before and i find myself weird...
as in, how come i changed? i didn even allow myself to change...
i think i hate myself more than i do in the past...
and confidence diminishing..
i cant even articulate my words coherently in gp sharing or pw presentation now...
so much have changed...
isit the school culture?
i dont know...
i think i am still me, thats for the innate being...
but expressions changed, T_T
how? what should i do?
change back? can i? dont know? lost~