Saturday, March 15, 2008
hey...
i'd just tell you guys this before i start on anything..
today's post is totally saddies and emo...
and the topic is going to cover on "demise" and "blending"
"demise" to be coloured red and "blending to be coloured orange...
so, if you find that it is totally unsuitable for you to read on, kindly leave this blog...
1stly, i just chose not to have lunch though there seemed to be brambles in my stomach now...
its 2pm, saturday, after the never-peaceful cca i had...
ok great...
"blending"
sometimes, people around you are forever treating you as differently as treating others...
and sometimes, as well, you will ponder upon : " is that supposed to be a good thing?"
is it really a good thing to be treated differently by friend A?
when friend A treats all the other B,C and Ds in the same way....
frankly speaking, i dont know...
or is it because of some kind of incidents...
that made you treat "i" and "A, B, C, and Ds" differently?
and the significance is even greater...
as you compare the way B, C and Ds treat you...
its the same as how A treats you...
yet they treat themselves in another manner...
then, you think...
whether if you really had any friends...
but you are seriously lost!
you dont even have an answer to that question - what is a friend?
you set a definition for the word "friend"...
and the next day...
to find yourself completely lost, and reverted to the origin...
have i defined it wrongly?
or is it so that the world seemed so cold and empty now?
ok from here on...
i will explain my experience today in a list of lyrics from the song 背影...
i would like to comment that songs have no fixed context...
it can be in the form of love, kinship, friendship or even hatred...
so ya...
here's the chorus...
chorus in red, interpretation in white....
感谢我不可以 住进你的眼睛 - 幸我不以让你了解我的心情与状态
所以才能拥抱你的背影 - 结果我忽略了自己，躲在你背后，默默的支持你体谅你
有再多的遗憾 用来牢牢记住 - 所有的过失，所有的无奈与伤感，都令我难以忘怀，但你呢？
不完美的所有美丽 - 友情是美丽的，但拥有毫无完美的美丽，不如永不得手
感谢我不可以 拥抱你的背影 - 最后庆幸我的无能，最总连基本的成就都达不成
所以才能变成你的背影 - 因此变成你的背影，是那么的被忽略，是那么的无阻无能，结果彻底的不了解你
躲在安静角落 - 疏远你，离别与你，安静地自责
如果你回头看 不用睬应- 不需你再留下一丝的关怀，虽然我已知你再也不会回应
now, for "demise"
i will try to make this short...
i have been deceiving myself, and deceiving people that i would like to die before the age of 40, because i feel that i would have then lived life to the fullest...
then, now...
i changed it to 30...
simply because i am afraid of living my life to the fullest...
you know that people around you would die someday...
and that day is drawing nearer as you idle your time away...
soon, you would come to a moment when someone will leave forever...
and then, would you regret?
wake up all...
this is a bit harsh...
and some of you may say "choi!"
but i still must clarify...
what is the probability of your parents dying after you?
0.0y?
seriously...
someday they will just leave you...
how are you going to handle the situation?
sometimes...
i think..
and i admit i think too much...
but you know that they will leave you...
and you are doing nothing about it!
how's that?
selfish people...
i tell you what...
when i imagine the situation when my parents leave me..
i will cry...
and that is the most natural me...
and i am never natural with anyone around me...
i am only natural when i am alone...
truely alone..
cry...cry la!
your tear glands are meant to secrete tears!
use it to the fullest...
you would not what to paralyse your tear gland and find that you can only deceive yourself by laughing everyday...
just think...
i would like to die before the age of 30...
and i certainly hope that it is cancer...
coz i feel that it's the easiest and best way to leave this world...
coz the blood agglutimation is a bit tooooo gorey and disgusting...
sometimes...
i wish that that motorcycle that almost sped into me last year had really done so...
and now...
i would be so relieved...
so ya...
good luck all..
and bye...
friend- or not?